Here are just a few examples…

John has been struggling on and off for the best part of 30 years with his mental health and found the last 2 years particularly hard. He saw the flyer for Keep the Heid in the library.

“I thought what the hell I'll email and see if I can get help and support. I was incredibly nervous and anxious to go… my first night I was struck by the way the group were allowed to be open and honest and how we all have struggles to work through … no one is trying to fix anyone, just allowing for emotions to come out ... I felt I could be more open and share my issues in a very non-judgemental way.”

John felt “a little easier” walking home that night and continued to attend regularly. Although he has struggled and has had times when he has felt suicidal and needed intervention from mental health services, John’s experience of the group has helped him to find clarity about the way through the grief and life changes he is experiencing.

“It's a wonderful thing to be able to share and learn that it's ok to not be ok, and that with somewhere to go to be open and get things out there in a very trusting place is a true lifesaver for everyone who’s got difficulties.”

Doug suffers from a disorder that means he really struggles with lethargy, fatigue and lack of interest. He goes to Keep the Heid regularly, every couple of weeks and describes it as a “welcoming environment and a good atmosphere” where he feels he can express how he’s feeling, which he finds helpful. For Doug the connection with others and shared experiences have a valuable impact on how he feels about himself. 

“The problems I have are quite chronic so I feel better after I’ve gone to a session but I’m not going to say that it changes the week – the same problems are still there. But it gets me out the flat on a Friday evening and gives me a bit of conversation and a chance to say how I feel and listen to other people and their problems … it can give a boost to your self-esteem to be a bit helpful to other people.”

He can feel bored and isolated and although he has support from family and from psychiatric services, Keep the Heid is different. The sessions directly impact his mood and sense of purpose. 

“I get agitated and anxious … by the time the session is over I feel I’ve spent time more productive, interesting and beneficial. It boosts my mood.”

There are impacts for the family member who supports him most, taking a bit of pressure off her. Doug has made friends with another participant, and they see each other and help each other outside of the café now. He has also joined and regularly attends a lunch club he found out about through his involvement with Keep the Heid.

“Without it my week would feel less interesting, and I’ve made a few connections that give me some content to the week so it’s been beneficial. The week would be emptier in other ways too I have a friend and the lunch club, and this makes up a large part of the content of the week.”

Cathy has a very stressful and busy home life caring for family members with a range of challenges as well as a traumatic past. She has had depression and anxiety for many years and engaged with a range of mental health services and interventions. Keep the Heid is different. 

“I’ve tried all the things but this group is the best thing that I’ve ever had, because there’s no expectation on you – I would recommend it to anybody. It’s welcoming, I was accepted straight away, there are no expectations, you never feel that you have to talk … I have sat there in tears, laughter at times. The support you get is amazing, knowing you’ve got that support on a Friday. Even if I have a really bad week, I know that come Friday I can let it out and get it out of my head.”

One really hard week, she went along to the newly started Tuesday café in Tranent and even though she had not been and it was only the second week since it opened, she felt really welcome and could get involved in welcoming other people.

Keep the Heid keeps Cathy motivated through the week to get to the Friday when she can have space to share how she is. It has had a huge impact for her, keeping her able to cope with her life week to week. She feels less isolated. 

“When I get there, I feel calmer, destressed, then when I come home I can deal with what I need to deal with. I know that if I broke the cards would come tumbling down so this is a lifeline for me. I know it’s there; I know there’s Tuesday too if I need it. They’ve got your back. I feel calmer the minute I walk in the hall – getting it all out your head and your mind. I can say ‘I can’t do anything about this, I’ll wait till Friday and get it out’.”

Her family also recognise the impact it has on her and the resultant impacts for them as she is keeping the plates spinning for them all. They encourage her to go every week, ask her about it and say she comes home more relaxed to the extent they can see a physical difference in her. She is thinking now of getting in touch with another support service that she’s found out about through her involvement with Keep the Heid and has found out about and enjoyed new things she can do with her husband too.

“It kind of reboots me mentally for the next week.”

Dave goes to Keep the Heid regularly. His favourite thing about it is simply having somewhere to talk about stuff. He feels lucky in having a supportive spouse but knows that for others it can be difficult to have people to talk to.

“That is the big importance of this – somewhere to talk without judgement.”

The café has helped Dave talk about things that are quite difficult and because he’s had a period where he was having therapy at the same time, it’s helped him to talk and get his thoughts into place, so he gets the most out of speaking to his therapist. 

“It has brought friendship as well and even though it’s about depression and anxiety I never have the fear of going there. ‘Yay its Friday, Keep the Heid day.’ I view it as a very positive part of my life.”

Dave reports that his anxiety levels have improved, with knock on impacts at home and ‘relief’ and ‘breathing space’ for his wife who notices a lift in is mood when he comes back from the café. Poor mental health can make him feel very excluded, but when he walks into the room on a Friday night, that feeling and fear goes immediately. 

“My NHS therapy has finished now, so I’m so now reliant on the café. It has taken pressure off friends and family, overall put me in a better place. Even if it doesn’t lead to a change just talking and having support makes a massive difference.”